Chapter Text
“So, is it always this hard to trek up a mountain during a wildfire in turnouts?” asked Ravi as they made their way up the mountain.
“Always is,” said Chimney as he gestured at Buck, “Are we still going the right way, Buck?”
Buck pulled out a compass, checking the direction they were going. He tried to peer over the trees, but it was hard to tell where the smoke from the crash was coming from in the forest.
“That smoke was northwest of our original location and we’re – yeah, we should be good,” said Buck as he put the compass away, “It was – it was five klicks? Right?”
Eddie nodded.
“Yeah. We should be getting there soon, based on how long we’ve been hiking,” said Eddie, and Buck could see that look of concern on Eddie’s face, “We need to – we need to be prepared for whatever we see.”
Buck could feel Eddie’s hand rubbing his back despite the thick layer of turnout; felt the Chimney’s hand on his shoulder; saw the look on Hen and Ravi’s faces.
Buck took a deep breath.
“I understand what we might be walking into,” Buck said quietly.
He knew this could end poorly. Whatever they could find could be the remnants of bodies smeared on the ground like bugs on a windshield. He knew that they could be collecting parts of bodies.
But.
It might be a little naïve. And Buck knew it wasn’t realistic. But he could feel something, like – like Tommy was alive. Maybe not okay. But alive. And that wasn’t logical. Buck knew it wasn’t. Odds were, they would find fire and parts, but he still felt like Tommy was out there.
Buck had to hold onto that despite what they were probably walking into.
“I’ll be okay. I’ll tell you if I’m not,” said Buck as he took another long, deep breath and focused, “Have faith. I’ve worked scenes with people I love in them. Remember the highway? Remember the train crash?”
Buck was good in a bad situation.
If Buck was anything, he was good in a bad situation.
“Not like you all won’t be emotionally compromised either. You’re all friends with Tommy,” Buck added, and the rest of Team Who Cares 2.0 did look around at each other and brace for this.
And Buck could hear it.
The crash site.
There was always something that made a crash site loud; the crackle of a fire; a wheel spinning; the machinations of a vehicle still whirring; a radio.
Buck could hear the whir of something mechanical. He could hear the – the sound of a fire… being put out?
Team Who Cares 2.0 exchanged looks before they walked closer to the noises.
Buck stopped in front of the scene, taking it all in.
For a helicopter crash, the helicopter was surprisingly intact; safer than Buck had expected. It wasn’t usable, but it was mostly intact. There was debris here and there. Many of the windows were broken, including the windshield, but not fully broken. The air ambulance was on its side, but Buck could see the number of it clearly – N951AL.
“I saw that helicopter spinning in the air,” said Ravi, a little in awe, “How the hell did Tommy land a crash this well?”
“Dude flew a helicopter through storms surrounding a hurricane, what did you expect?” asked Chimney, grinning as they all zeroed in on Lucy Donato, who was currently using one hand to control an extinguisher as she put out a fire on the tail of the air ambulance, the other arm lying limp to her side, “Lucy! You were up there with Tommy too?”
“Chimney?” Lucy yelled maybe a little too loudly as she turned their way, “Holy sh*t, all of you are here? How?”
“You were closest to us when you crashed. Happy coincidence, huh?” said Hen as she ran over and checked Lucy’s limp arm.
Lucy winced.
“Hey. No. Check everyone in the air ambulance first, they’re all knocked out cold,” groaned Lucy as Hen readied to pop the dislocated arm back in, “I’ll be fine I can – sh*t, you popped it back. You popped it back in for me. Thank you.”
“It’s the job. Let me – let me see if we grabbed a sling,” said Hen as she looked through her bag.
“What? You don’t know what you have on you? Why?” asked Lucy, confused.
“Oh, Captain Gerrard’s the literal worst. We stole whatever we could before we came here to see if there were any survivors of the helicopter crash,” said Ravi as he did a loop around the helicopter, “The easiest way in will be up top from that janked up door. Let me secure the helicopter with – whatever we have. Oh! I have rope. Nice.”
“You stole equipment?” echoed Lucy as Ravi started to secure the helicopter.
“I stole a tent!” yelled Buck as he sprang into action and pulled out some industrial-sized tent pegs and a hammer from the pile of tent he stole, “Let’s see if these help secure this.”
“You stole a tent?” asked Hen, sounding impressed.
“I didn’t even see the tents. Damn. Almost stole an electric chainsaw, but it didn't fit in the bag, so,” said Chimney with a sigh.
“Hey. Next time,” said Buck.
“I hope there’s not a next time,” said Chimney with a surprised laugh.
“Yeah, I don’t want to think about what would cause a next time for something like this,” said Ravi.
“Stealing a tent? What the hell is going on?” asked Lucy.
“I thought we might need to secure something – or sleep, I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking,” said Buck with a shrug before hammering in some heavy duty tent polls, “I just stole a lot of sh*t.”
Ravi did a quick inspection before announcing, “Helicopter secured!”
“Oh wow, this is the Team Who Cares thing, isn’t it? You’re playing cowboys to save us,” said Lucy.
“We might have come here without permission from our Captain,” said Eddie before he peered into the helicopter through the cracked open door, “Anyone awake? I’m coming in. As soon as we get this door open.”
“What?” asked Lucy, a little horrified, “Captain Gerrard was going to leave us for dead? sh*t, he is really as bad as Tommy said he is.”
There was a moan from inside; a wheezed swear. Eddie looked through his bag of equipment, swearing himself.
“Crowbar,” said Buck as he searched his own bag and pulled it out of the random equipment he managed to steal, “I got a crowbar.”
Buck checked if the helicopter was stable before getting up onto the helicopter. He slid the crowbar in, beginning to pry it open until –
Crunch.
Creak.
Crack.
Snap.
The metal wheezed until it broke for Buck. Buck slid the broken door to Eddie, who took it and placed it down on the ground. Buck crawled off the helicopter, gesturing for Eddie to get in there. Eddie swiftly and carefully made his way through the opening of the helicopter.
“Got one!” yelled Chimney, tossing the sling to Hen.
Hen quickly put the sling on Lucy.
“Heading in to check on all of you inside. Head’s up!” yelled Chimney as he carefully made his way into the turned on its side helicopter.
“How many people were in the crash?” asked Buck as – as he saw blood outside of the helicopter.
Was it Lucy’s?
She did have some cuts.
“There were – there were six of us. Me, Tommy, Melton, Probie, and two patients,” Lucy said as Hen finished her full check up on Lucy, waving a light in Lucy’s eyes, “f*ck. I need to check what went wrong. I think it was an electric shortage.”
“Four,” yelled Melton as he crawled out of the helicopter, looking worse for wear but surprisingly fine, “f*ck, they were thrown out. I’m pretty sure they were thrown out.”
“Four? As – as in you only count four of the six here?” asked Buck as he tampered down his panic as best as he could, “Is that what you mean?”
“f*ck. Where did they go?” asked Lucy as she leaned on the air ambulance.
She held her head and closed her eyes.
“Everything was spinning so fast, where did they get chucked?” mumbled Lucy to the ground.
“Out of the helicopter?” asked Hen, surprised.
“What?” breathed Buck, trying to sound normal, “Who got chucked?”
Buck had a feeling, but he had to ask. He had to know.
“Tommy and the other patient,” said Melton as Melton paced around, “I think they were thrown out. I was being thrown around in the helicopter. Hell, I almost got thrown out of the helicopter, but I had managed to hold onto something. I don’t know why I didn’t end up with more injuries, if I’m being honest.”
“But – but Tommy was thrown out?” asked Buck carefully, “Tommy and the other patient?”
Melton nodded.
“I’m pretty sure. They’re not in the helicopter. Unless they crawled out of the helicopter through the windshield like Lucy,” said Melton as he walked over to Lucy and leaned onto the helicopter, “He’s around here. He can’t be far. I don’t think we were high enough for the fall to be the absolutely deadly when it happened.”
Eddie helped their probie, a young woman who barely looked old enough to join, out of the helicopter. Her wrist was in a brace and she had fresh stitches on her forehead.
“I hadn’t even thought about how high he could have been when he – ” Buck said, doing his best not to pace; not to show how much this was freaking him out.
How high was too high to survive? And maybe Buck wasn’t hiding his terror at the idea as well as he thought he was, because the roughed up probie turned to him apologetically.
“I saw it,” said the probie, tearing up, “I was up there. I was supposed to watch him work. Best of the best and all. God, he was inspiring to watch.”
“Inspiring as he crashed?” asked Buck, a little lost; maybe a little overwhelmed.
“Yeah. Look at how many of us are still alive. Man’s a genius,” the probie asserted.
She looked.
Inspired.
Buck kind of hated that she looked inspired when Tommy was thrown out of his own helicopter. And it wasn’t the kid’s fault – Buck got it. He more than got it. He was mad at himself for hating this. But he really didn’t want the bragging to come from a crash that most likely hurt his boyfriend.
“But he was trying to control the spinning,” continued the probie, “His maneuvering was pretty out of this world. And he almost somehow maintained control long enough to actually land, but then we hit the treeline before hitting the field, and – and something snagged onto his belt. Cut it. I saw him – I’m not sure which direction he went, everything was spinning so fast, but he was thrown. I’m so sorry.”
Thrown.
Tommy was actually thrown.
He was somewhere out there in the wilderness. Where the wild rams were if they hadn’t already left due to the fire.
“Buck, Chimney – search the woods,” said Hen, taking control of the scene, “Eddie, Ravi, and I will work the scene.”
Buck felt horrible when he realized his body relaxed knowing he was on the team looking for Tommy.
“Yes, ma’am,” said Chimney immediately, ready to brave the woods.
“I can – I can help,” Lucy tried to get up, then… sat back down, “Okay, maybe not, the world is still spinning. That’s not a great sign.”
“Just rest, Luce. Ugh. I need to take a second. I still feel queasy from all the spinning in the air,” said Melton as he sat down with Lucy and gestured to the probie, “Probie. Next to us. Let them call this in and check the patient.”
The probie looked like she was going to argue but… then she barfed next to a tree.
“Okay,” said the probie, “Sitting down might be a good idea.”
“This is Firefighter Wilson from the 118,” said Hen into her radio, “Requesting backup at the helicopter crash site in section 3C,” said Hen, her voice growing distant as Buck and Chimney began their search of the surrounding area.
*****
Tommy wheezed back into existence. He didn’t even open his eyes.
Everything hurt.
What had Tommy been doing?
Tommy heard – the crackling of a fire in the distance. He felt uncomfortable roots under his back and the scratchiness of long, dry grass.
Crash.
There was a helicopter crash.
Tommy remembered – he remembered the signs of something going wrong. Requesting backup as he explained his coordinates and made a split-second decision to try to land right before the control panel in front of Tommy sparked and fried.
With no understanding of how fast they were going or how much gas they still had left or the change in air pressure and the controls suddenly growing more rigid, Tommy did his damnedest to land that f*cking air ambulance as easy as he could. He really did. And he had almost, he was right there. But the spinning had made him misjudge the tree line and when they hit it, Tommy had –
Tommy had flown out.
Tree branches had softened his fall – they had to have. Tommy could feel where they hit him on the way down. He must be black and blue all over, but that was better than a broken neck or back.
Though.
Was Tommy okay?
Tommy did what he could to check himself; to figure out if he was wiggling toes and fingers, that there weren’t any problems with his neck or back.
And he was – he was probably okay.
But his head was hurting badly.
f*ck. Probably a concussion. He gingerly pulled off the headset that somehow stayed on his head the entire time and inspected his head, and at least he wasn’t bleeding, but – sh*t.
His arm was in pain. His forearm.
Maybe it was a – hairline fracture?
Okay.
Tommy could probably sit up?
Tommy groaned as he did his best to sit up.
Oh, Tommy was going to feel this tomorrow.
f*ck.
Tommy Kinard was usually great at his job.
There was a reason they had sent a pilot probie to shadow Tommy at this wildfire.
Just perfect that something short-circuited in the air ambulance. He had known he should have quadruple checked the systems, he knew that something was a little off with the air ambulance. He had tried to talk to his captain about how the a few of the newer models in other city’s fire departments had been malfunctioning. He should have pushed harder on the subject.
“H – hello? Is someone there?” called – f*ck, that was one of the patients, “Help! Please! Please, someone help!”
Tommy could do this.
He could help.
He didn’t know how he was going to help. He didn’t have supplies on him, but he had to do something.
“Coming!” croaked Tommy, feeling like broken glass in a person-shaped bag as he stood up, “Keep calling out to me. I’m coming to you.”
Tommy’s ears were ringing, but honestly, that wasn’t really a new thing. Tommy threw up, and he wasn’t sure if it was the concussion or all the spinning as he tried to get the helicopter under control earlier.
It probably wasn’t great sign.
But he had to help her. He had to help the woman from the call who was screaming so that Tommy knew where she was.
Tommy wasn’t even sure how he got to her.
It could be that the fact that he was powering through the pain.
It could be something worse.
But Tommy wasn’t thinking about that. He needed to help the woman before him who was in much worse shape than he had seen her in earlier. She did at least smile at Tommy.
“Hey. You’re the hot pilot guy. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” asked the woman – what was her name?
Natalie?
Natasha?
“Natalia, right?” asked Tommy as he walked over and let his medical training take over, “Natalia Dollenmeyer?”
“Yeah, uh. Good memory, yes, that’s me. Natalia Dollenmeyer,” said Natalia as she laughed nervously, “Regretting that I tried hiking.”
Tommy laughed.
“Yeah, well. I think it was bad timing, mostly, but I’m sure there are more indoor hobbies you can try out,” said Tommy as he gently examined the clearly broken leg, “If my boyfriend was here, he could probably give you a history of the area. He probably knows why this place is called Sheep Mountain Wilderness.”
“Funny. I had a boyfriend like that a while back,” said Natalia, “He was such a dork. A cute dork, though. Firefighter too – or are you just a pilot?”
“Firefighter pilot, at your service. I’m also technically a trained paramedic because I thought for like five seconds I might become a paramedic,” said Tommy as he began to break off long branches and clean them up as best as he could, “But yeah. Firefighter pilot.”
She grinned.
“That sounds impressive. Your boyfriend must be proud,” said Natalia.
Tommy smiled, thinking about Evan.
“He’s very supportive. He’s the type who’s all in. I’ve been, uh. I’ve been realizing how much he cares and how much I used to not care about myself. And it’s like – why don’t I care as much as him about myself? And it’s made me rethink a lot about how I’ve been thinking about myself. And… I’m rambling. I’m sorry. I don’t usually. Thinking about Evan just sort of makes me ramble.”
“That’s sweet. You’re sweet. He sounds sweet.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to set your leg. Do you want to brace for that or – ?
Natalia shook her head.
“Nope. Just do it.”
Natalia screamed as Tommy set the leg. He ripped his sleeves to shreds, beginning to create a splint from the branches and ripped strips of sleeves.
“You are a gun show.”
“More for the job. Oh. And the years of repression, I suppose. Years of repression really helps pumping the iron.”
“Funny. You’re funny.”
“I’ll be here all night.”
Tommy gathered the remaining branches that he had and – realized that he didn’t have enough cloth to tie this all up.
Tommy unbuttoned his jumpsuit.
“Whoa, what – what are you doing?” asked Natalia.
“Need more strips,” said Tommy as he pulled off his undershirt.
“What’s next? You’re boxers? Take them off. Take them off. Take them off.”
Tommy snickered.
Then groaned.
“No making me laugh. I think I have a broken rib. Or three. I’m a little beat up from the crash, as you can see,” said Tommy as he buttoned back up his sleeveless jumpsuit.
“Really in your McGuyver Era, aren’t you?”
“I mean, it’s either this or leave you, so McGuyver it is.”
“You’re a little gallows humor.”
“That bad?”
“No. I love death. Well, not love – I’m a death doula.”
This.
This sounded familiar.
Why did it sound familiar?
“What is that? A volunteer murderer?”
Natalia laughed.
“Yes. You’re saving a serial killer for hire.”
“A real assassin, huh? I’m honored.”
“No, um. It’s – I make death easier. For people. I help people accept what’s coming if they’re terminally ill or very old and help them figure out what they want to do to help them accept it.”
Tommy wasn’t sure if he really got that. He wasn’t sure if he really liked that idea. But then again, he was very sure most folks wouldn’t understand why he ran into fires.
“Fun fact,” said Tommy because sometimes, Tommy knew facts, “Le petit mort – the little death – was a phrase used to describe an org*sm. It was actually also a very popular euphemism in Victorian England.”
“I tell you I’m a death doula and you tell me about org*sms?” laughed Natalia, “Damn. I really need to stop making everything about death. At least you made it fun.”
Tommy tested the makeshift spine board and it seemed – it seemed solid enough. The best he’ll be able to do, at least.
“Okay. Here’s the plan. I’m going to get you on this makeshift board. I’m going to try to make contact with command control and tell them the coordinates of where we will be on the trail I’ll try my best do my best to carry you to. Are you good with that?”
“Sounds like a plan, Stan.”
Tommy helped Natalia onto the makeshift board, securing her onto it with the remaining strips of cloth he had as well as his belt.
“I’ll be right back,” said Tommy.
Natalia nodded. Tommy winced as he stood up. He looked around, trying to find where he had placed the headset. He walked over to it, picking it up from the ground. Tommy hadn’t inspected it yet, and looking at it, the headset seemed… busted.
But.
f*ck it.
Tommy had to try.
He had to.
He put on the headset. He walked away from Natalia and – f*ck, all he could hear on the other end was static, but Tommy had to try.
“This is Firefighter Kinard, pilot for air ambulance N951AL. I was jettisoned during the crash along with a patient,” said Tommy as he tried to remember what his coordinates were before crashing, “I will be bringing her to the closest trail on – Big Iron Mountain, I believe? Yeah. Big Iron Mountain. Heaton Flats trail heading up to Bonita Peak. We’ll be around the Allison Saddle in about… maybe fifteen minutes, give or take, if I’ve triangulated where I am on the mountain correctly. Requesting medical assistance as soon as possible, not just for my patient and I, but for my wherever my helicopter crashed, which should be nearby. There should be four more people at that crash who will be in need of help – three firefighters and one patient.”
No one responded back.
Only static.
Tommy had to hope someone heard. Tommy put the headset around his neck, heading back to Natalia.
“Ready for a really terrible hike up an even harder trail than the one you got lost on that we’re not even on yet?” asked Tommy.
“I thought you’d never asked,” said Natalia, “Let’s go get some help.”
*****
“sh*t,” Buck swore as he tripped over a tree branch and fell on his face.
Buck groaned, feeling a spike of pain in his ankle.
sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.
Buck didn’t have time for this. He didn’t have time to get hurt in the stupidest way possible. He needed to find his boyfriend.
“Hey! Buck – you okay?” asked Chimney, who watched Buck try to stand up, only to stumble back down after putting any weight on his left leg, “Wow. You really bucked something up.”
“I know. I can feel it. It’s attached to me. I think I twisted my ankle.”
“Roll over, Buckaroo. Lemme assess that ankle of yours.”
Buck groaned as he turned onto his back. Chimney sat down next to Buck’s ankle, propping it up as he pulled off Buck’s boot and checked the injury.
“Yup. This is twisted,” said Chimney, “Buck. How are you doing?”
“Feeling stupid for twisting my ankle,” answered Buck as he watched Chimney wrap his ankle, “I really do Buck things up, don’t I?”
This was just always going to be Buck, wasn’t it? He was always going to be the one who somehow ruined something. Now, he was ruining the rescue operation for his own boyfriend.
And Buck knew Tommy wouldn’t think of it like that.
Tommy would probably say people twist ankles all the time.
But Buck didn’t feel all that forgiving of himself at the moment.
“No. It’s just dark out here. And we have been working hard for about twelve hours. And you’re worried,” said Chimney as he finished up the wrap and put Buck’s boot gingerly back onto Buck’s foot, “You care. That’s good. I care too. He’s my friend. He’s basically my brother-in-law. I hard not to care.”
“He’s not basically your – ” Buck started to say, then – then tried to understand how Chimney would jump to that conclusion, “Wait, do you think he would say yes to that?”
Husband.
Yeah.
That was too soon.
Buck would scare Tommy away if he asked that. But then again, he had asked Tommy to go to his sister’s wedding after a failed first date.
No.
Too soon, Buck, you can’t scare the man away.
“Don’t rush into it, Buck.”
“Yeah,” sighed Buck, “Right. f*ck, we need to know he’s alive first.”
“He is – ” said Chimney, and he must have seen something in Buck’s face as Chimney asserted, “No, Buck. He is. You have to know that.”
Buck wanted to believe that.
So many scenarios were going through his head though.
No.
Tommy could do this.
He could survive.
“Yeah. I know, Chim.”
“Good,” said Chimney as he patted Buck’s shoulder, “I think I saw a big enough stick to you to help you walk over there. I’ll be right back.”
Chimney walked away and Buck swore again, because this was holding them up. Holding them up from the task at hand.
“This is Firefighter Kinard, pilot for air ambulance N951AL.”
Buck’s – everything froze.
He couldn’t breathe.
He couldn’t anything.
“Tommy?” whispered Buck.
The radio continued – he must be sending it out to an open channel or something?
“I was jettisoned during the crash along with a patient. I will be bringing her to the closest trail on – Big Iron Mountain, I believe? Yeah. Big Iron Mountain. Heaton Flats trail heading up to Bonita Peak. We’ll be at the Allison Saddle in about… maybe fifteen minutes, give or take, if I’ve triangulated where I am on the mountain correctly. Requesting medical assistance as soon as possible, not just for my patient and I, but for my wherever my helicopter crashed, which should be nearby. There should be four more people at that crash who will be in need of help – three firefighters and one patient.”
“Tommy!” blurted Buck, his voice breaking as he tried to call back to Tommy on the radio, “Uh, Firefighter Kinard, y – yes, we heard you. Firefighter Buckley and Han heard you. You’re right, that’s the mountain. We’ll meet you at the Allison Saddle.”
Buck waited.
Buck waited for an answer back.
He didn’t get an answer back.
“Firefighter Kinard, this is Captain Reese. We heard you. Please respond again.”
sh*t.
“Firefighter Kinard, respond again.”
Buck pulled out his compass and the map of the mountain, trying his best to figure out how to get to that trail from here and up at Allison Saddle.
“Firefighter Han, ma’am. I think his headset must be busted up or something,” said Chimney into his radio, coming back with a pretty big stick, “I think he can get messages out, but can’t get them back to us.”
“Firefighters Buckley and Han, you’re heading his way?”
Chimney beat Buck to the radio.
“Go for Firefighter Han. We are heading there, but we’ll have no way to get off the mountain with them. I suggest you do as Firefighter Kinard asked for and send medical assistance, ma’am.”
“Understood. We’ll have that medical assistance as soon as we have an air ambulance available.”
Good.
Good, this could work.
This could be okay.
Maybe, everything will be okay.
“Do you know which way Allison Saddle is?” asked Chimney.
Buck nodded as he put away the map and compass.
“This way,” said Buck as they headed toward the Allison Saddle.
*****
It was a spectacular view of the fire. Like a sea of flames moving with the wind below them. A haunted, mesmerizing grip of death spread between several mountains. Buck probably should be distracted by that, at least a little.
But no.
The moment they got up there, all Buck could see was Tommy. Which reflected a bit poorly on Buck because Buck was usually a very professional guy.
But he couldn’t stop staring at Tommy.
He felt strangely small in the backdrop of the mountain. Sitting down next to what looked to be a woman on a makeshift spine board.
“Why don’t you have any sleeves?” asked Chimney, “Don’t tell me this is a prank and they’re doing a surprise calendar of the month photoshoot right now.”
Tommy turned to them.
And maybe.
Maybe Tommy couldn’t stop staring at Buck either.
“Evan?” said Tommy as he began running Buck’s way, “Are you okay?”
“I mean, I’m here too, but okay,” said Chimney as he began walking over to the patient, “I’ll go check on the patient.”
Tommy stopped for a moment, putting a hand on Chimney’s shoulder as he passed.
“You good, Howie?”
Chimney smiled.
“I’m good. Go say hi to your boyfriend.”
The closer Tommy got, the more beaten and bruised he was.
But he was there.
And Buck could reach him.
Touch him.
Know that he was safe; was alive.
“Am I okay? You’re the one who was thrown out of an air ambulance,” said Buck as he brushed glass out of Tommy’s hair.
How was there so much glass in the man’s hair?
“I’m not the one trudging over with a walking stick,” said Tommy as he took Buck in, “Just. A banged-up body and possibly a hairline fracture in my forearm? Maybe some broken ribs? Definitely a concussion. I need a hospital after this.”
Bruises.
Buck kept finding a new one everywhere his eyes roamed.
“You think?”
“Hey. You’ll probably need on too.”
“But you’re alive,” said Buck, and he really wasn’t trying to show everything he was feeling, but he couldn’t stop touching Tommy; his arms; his chest; his face.
“Yeah. So are you,” said Tommy with a smile before glancing down the mountain, “Well. Until the fire gets to us.”
Buck laughed nervously.
The fire was getting a little too close for comfort.
“Yeah, you’re telling me.”
They could both feel it in the distance.
Closing in.
The flames would be there soon.
Buck was happy they at least they found each other before that.
“I love you, Evan,” said Tommy, barely loud enough to hear.
“Hey. I love you too,” whispered Buck back as he pulled Tommy into another hug.
“Buck?” said – said a voice Buck knew.
Wait.
“Natalia?” asked Buck as he and Tommy walked over to the patient who was… his ex.
Great.
Why did Tommy keep meeting Buck’s exes?
But there she was. On the makeshift spine board Tommy miraculously made in the woods as Chimney checked on her.
“sh*t. You are Natalia. Small world,” said Chimney.
“You’re bi? No way. Me too. How hadn’t we talked about that, man?” asked Natalia, grinning, “We could have talked guy butts.”
“Oh. Uh. It’s kind of a new thing for me, actually. Five months ago new,” said Buck, “Wait, you’re bi?”
“We talked about how hot the girls on Love Island were, Buck. We ranked them together,” said Natalia, which was true, “Why did you never tell me your name was Evan?”
“What? Did you think my first name was Buck?” asked Buck, a little horrified.
“Well, yeah. Because you never said it was Evan,” said Natalia.
“You thought my name was Buck Buckley?” asked Buck, a little more horrified.
“There are people out there named Ima Hogg. It’s a possibility,” said Natalia with an awkward spine board shrug.
Chimney and Tommy were laughing.
Well.
Chimney was laughing.
Tommy started to laugh, but then held his chest with a wince.
“Sorry,” said Tommy, “It’s a little adorable. Buck Buckley.”
“It’s got a ring to it, right?” said Natalia with a smile.
“It kind of does,” said Chimney.
“No, don’t have my boyfriend calling me – he doesn’t call me Buck,” grumbled Buck.
Which.
Which was weird to say out loud. He usually liked when people called him Buck. He preferred it. But he was always Evan to Tommy. He just wanted to be Evan to Tommy. Which felt a little petulant of Buck, a little childish, maybe, but that was just how they were.
“I’m not changing what I call you, Evan. Your name rolls off the tongue far better,” assured Tommy as he stared deeply into Buck’s eyes, and that sounded impossibly smooth.
How was his boyfriend so smooth?
“You have a really great boyfriend,” said Natalia fondly, “I didn’t think I was going to make it. But he found me. Dragged me all the way up here. He also made an org*sm joke when I told him I was a death doula?”
“Well, it was more of a fun fact,” mumbled Tommy, “Because, sometimes, I know facts too.”
Buck snorted.
“Let me guess, le petit mort?” snickered Buck.
And there was that smile – that scrunchy nose smile. And if Buck wasn’t being a very professional firefighter right now, he would be kissing that smiling face.
“Of course you’d know it too,” said Natalia, “You’re like the king of random facts.”
“You’re great too,” said Tommy, “Fantastic company.”
“I think it helped that I didn’t talk about death as much as I usually would,” said Natalia, “I’ve been working on that since, uh. Buck and I didn’t work out. Not that I was trying to get back with him, just it made me think about my life, you know? What I wanted. If I needed more hobbies.”
“You hike now,” offered Tommy.
Huh.
That must have been why Natalia was out here.
“Maybe not anymore,” said Natalia as she glanced at her leg, “I don’t think hiking is my thing anymore.”
“I’ve heard knitting can be fun,” Buck suggested helpfully.
“Yeah, I’ll try that next time,” said Natalia, “Is it getting hot or is that just your boyfriend, Buck?”
It was getting hot.
Buck could see the fire not only under them, but coming up from the other side; coming down to from the top of the mountain; lighting up the spaces between trees like the inside of a jack-o-lantern.
“Just my boyfriend,” Buck lied, laughing nervously before he – he heard something above them.
And then.
A water drop.
Relief washed over Buck as he felt the water pour on them.
“Water drop successful. Team will be there soon to pick you up, Firefighter Kinard,” and was – was that Captain Mehta on the comms?
“Guess the call for more backup went through,” sighed Tommy.
“How do you think I found you?” asked Buck softly, “It did.”
Buck heard the sound. Buck saw Tommy react before he did.
And Buck was too slow.
He had bucked up his f*cking ankle because he wasn’t thinking beforehand and now he was paying the consequences for it.
Because, there, behind Chimney, was a tree made unstable by the fire; falling down.
And there was Tommy.
Pushing Chimney out of the way.
Buck.
Buck was pretty sure he screamed Tommy’s name. He wasn’t really sure. Buck felt like – no, he had to have blacked out or something; because one moment, Tommy’s pushing Chimney out of the way, and the next, the tree’s just on him.
On top of Tommy.
Buck’s feet can’t move. Buck can’t breathe.
“Well,” announced Tommy under the tree, deadpan, “This isn’t good.”
Buck’s laugh came out as a sob. His legs started to finally work as he scrambled to the other side of the tree. Tommy was pressed stomach down onto the ground. The tree was atop him, but he had one arm free; his head and shoulders could be seen.
He was there.
Alive.
In a terrible state, but still alive.
“You think?” asked Buck as he fell to his knees and tried to understand what impact the tree might have had on his boyfriend, “A tree fell on you.”
“Is Howie okay?” asked Tommy, “Or did I just get treed for nothing?”
“Yeah. I – I’m good,” said Chimney, who seemed a little stunned, “sh*t, Tommy.”
“What can I say? I like returning a favor,” said Tommy with a weak smile, “Plus, you have a kid. Couldn’t look Jee in the eyes if I had an opportunity to save you.”
“I’m – I’m sorry, but my leg is kind of feeling weird?” Natalia interrupted.
Chimney stood up, glancing from Tommy to Natalia.
“I’ll be right back,” said Chimney as he went to check on Natalia.
“We’re getting this off you – we’re – ” Buck started to say as he opened his bag and searched it, “sh*t. I didn’t steal a hand chainsaw.”
“Me neither!” called Chimney.
“Stole?” asked Tommy, confused.
“We, uh. We kind of mutinied and stole a lot of sh*t when we learned your helicopter crashed near us,” Buck confessed, “Gerrard wasn’t going to let anyone check on the crash site. I think out of negligence or maybe spite.”
“Yeah, that sounds about right,” said Tommy and then.
Then he got that small look he sometimes had. That vulnerable one. The one that reminded Buck how little people had actually cared about Tommy in the past. How unused to this sort of attention his boyfriend was.
“You – you really did that for me?” whispered Tommy, almost as if he was scared to ask.
Buck placed a hand on Tommy’s cheek.
“Thomas,” Buck said softly, “I’d do anything for you.”
Buck would.
And wasn’t that amazing?
To feel something like this for someone; for Tommy.
“Thank you,” said Tommy, as if Buck had proven him wrong about how unforgiving the world could be.
Buck would do that for the rest of his life if he could. He was pretty sure he would.
Tommy always seemed to be in awe of Buck whenever Buck did that for him.
Buck didn’t know why he was the one who Tommy thought was amazing, though. Tommy, despite his pessimism, still tried. He still looked for good even when he believed the worst was coming. Buck didn’t know how the man did that. Wanting to hope even when all his instincts told him it wasn’t worth it.
That was a feat.
That was amazing.
“Also, I might not have a job when we get back, so you might need to support me, Daddy.”
Tommy wheezed a laugh.
“No – don’t say that in public. Don’t – don’t make me laugh right now,” said Tommy, his nose even scrunchier as he smiled, “Good thing I make a pretty penny.”
“Would that make you a sugar daddy now?”
“Evan.”
Tommy laughed.
Wheezed.
Winced.
“Please stop,” said Chimney, “I don’t want to hear this.”
“I don’t know. It’s kind of cute,” said Natalia.
“You don’t get a vote,” said Chimney.
“Yeah, haven’t I suffered enough?” asked Tommy, “I’m not sure if you can tell, but I’m currently stuck under a tree, Evan.”
“Yeah. Can’t make you have a boner right now,” said Buck, “Probably not the right time.”
“Why are you like this?” asked Tommy with no fire behind it.
“Oh, you love it.”
“I – I do,” said Tommy fondly, “I really do.”
Buck didn’t know what to do. He didn’t have anything that could help.
“We’ll figure something out,” said Buck as he looked around, and – maybe he could use the stick he had been walking with to help push it off?
Buck reached for it and tried – only for the stick to snap like a twig.
f*ck.
He needed more eyes to assess this. He needed a chainsaw. But all he had for now were comforting words.
“Guess I’m just stuck here forever,” declared Tommy.
“I love you, but I don’t know if I can take gallows humor right now,” said Buck, because he – he really didn’t like thinking about this.
He needed the assistance to be there now.
Tommy matched Buck’s tone. Because he always did. Because he was a great boyfriend. A great boyfriend stuck under a f*cking tree.
“I’m sorry, Evan,” said Tommy as he leaned into that hand that was still on his cheek; Buck hadn’t moved that hand away, “You two got the word out, I’m sure. Someone will come.”
“How do you know that?” asked Buck, because he really needed this tree off his boyfriend.
“Because they dumped water on us,” said Tommy calmly, “That kind of precision – they’re coming here soon.”
Maybe it was pathetic that Buck needed the person under the tree to tell him someone was going to save said person under the tree soon.
It was pathetic.
“You were the one that got to them, though,” said Buck, “It was your message. Me and Chim – we just doubled down on it.”
“I guess it was. Guess I’m saving my own skin this time. Can I get a medal for saving myself?” asked Tommy curiously.
“Not sure if medals work like that,” laughed Buck.
“Damn… would have liked another medal,” said Tommy, taking a moment before he quietly asked, “Evan?”
“What do you need?” asked Buck.
“Hand,” murmured Tommy, “Can I have your hand?”
“I’d give you a lot more than that,” said Buck as he waggled his eyebrows.
Tommy laughed then wheezed.
“Don’t make me laugh.”
Buck’s hand left Tommy’s face and held Tommy’s hand and it was – the grip was weaker. And Tommy’s hands were always a little cold, the man had a circulation problem, but – his hand was way colder than it should have been.
“So, Chimney said you are basically his brother-in-law,” said Buck casually.
“Awww,” said Tommy.
“Emphasis on basically,” called Chimney from Natalia.
“Still very cute,” Tommy called back.
“When would be the right time to chat about that?” mused Buck.
“For what?” asked Tommy, quirking an eyebrow.
“Making you his brother-in-law,” said Buck, as he gestured with his other hand to Chimney.
Buck could see an array of emotions flash through Tommy’s face; bewilderment; surprise; amusem*nt. Buck kind of loved being able to surprise a man like Tommy Kinard; to shake him out of that cool demeanor with some request that was probably too soon or too much but somehow Tommy still went along with.
“Kind of a roundabout way to talk marriage, Evan.”
“We got a month – a month before we talk moving in. How long before we talk about marriage?” asked Buck as he began to organize, try to figure out what made sense for a romantic schedule of important milestones; then, began wondering if the question of marriage itself should be asked too, because Buck wasn’t sure if Tommy ever talked about it before (not that Buck had brought it up), “Do you even want marriage?”
Tommy looked stunned by the question. Maybe a little flummoxed.
Buck wasn’t sure if he had ever seen Tommy speechless before.
Well.
Maybe after the f*ck You You’re Loved Party. And that was… that was because no one threw him parties.
“I’m not sure if I ever thought about it,” said Tommy, proving Buck’s gut feeling about this right, “I never thought it would happen.”
“What? A catch like you? Who wouldn’t want to tie you down?” said Buck, smiling.
“It wasn’t legal across the United States until 2015, Evan. It hasn’t even been ten years.”
Oh.
Sometimes, Buck didn’t take that into account. Sometimes, he just didn’t think. He had never thought about the idea of not marrying the person he loved.
“Seven months,” said Tommy, pulling Buck back from his thoughts.
“What?”
“Seven more months until we talk about it,” explained Tommy, “A year in. Our anniversary.”
“The anniversary of our first kiss? Or our first bad date? The coffee meet up?” asked Buck fondly, “What – what counts as our anniversary?”
“Do you know when those dates are?” asked Tommy, a little surprised.
Like he hadn’t expected Buck to be very extra about important moments in his life; in their relationship.
“You don’t?” asked Buck curiously; not a judgment, simply a question.
“I’m going to level with you. I wasn’t exactly a completely put together person when you met me. I know I come off real cool and charming, but I wasn’t in the best place.”
Buck knew that now. He hadn’t known that back then – it was hard to see Tommy as anything other than the coolest, most interesting man Buck had ever met five months ago. But Buck kind of… he kind of knew Tommy better now.
Tommy was still the coolest, most interesting man Buck had ever met.
That hadn’t changed.
But he was – he was more of a person now. A fully realized man. Who got cold easy. Who didn’t play the guitar great, but he liked to play it. Who masked a lot of pain with dry humor. Who watched every romcom under the sun. Who used finger guns way too much. Who made Buck sleep easier whenever they were both in the same bed. Who used to be a really lonely guy. Who wanted more. Who maybe would get that dog with Buck if they moved in together in a month.
The man also didn’t expect much from people. Buck would always be the guy to surprise Tommy in the best of ways; maybe get Tommy to start expecting things.
“That’s okay,” said Buck warmly, “I got us. Put it on my calendar and everything. You pick which counts once you’re out from under this tree.”
“Maybe once I’m in a hospital bed?” negotiated Tommy.
“That works too… would it be weird if I want to be Evan Kinard?”
Evan Kinard.
He had loved when Maddie explained why she took Chimney’s last name.
The Buckley line dies with me. At least. My side of it.
Buck kind of wanted that too. And Tommy was – he was so kind. He was so thoughtful. He made Buck want to be a Kinard more than a Buckley. Though, that might just be because he knew more Buckleys than Kinards.
Tommy grinned.
“What? So, you can confuse everyone as to why you’re called Buck?”
“That would be a plus. But I kind of love your last name? Maybe I just want part of you with me always, I don’t know. It’s weird. I never really thought about that as an option. You’ve been opening me up to a whole new world of possibilities, Tommy.”
They smiled at each other. Buck squeezed Tommy’s hand before he – he heard the sounds of an air ambulance and a helicopter coming their way. Buck wasn’t sure if he had ever been so relieved to see another team of firefighters in his life.
