How to Clean Your House When You Feel Paralyzed by "The Mess" (2024)

There are some people who won’t even understand the title of this post. They don’t know what it’s like to wonder where to start when cleaning a messy house.

They’ve never been paralyzed by a mess. Overwhelmed doesn’t even really cover it.

They’ll think – “what does that even mean?!” (These people always have clean houses, and they can organize their junk drawer with their eyes closed. Or at least they could if they had a junk drawer. But they don’t. They don’t know what it’s like to be ashamed of your messy house.) They’ve never experienced a truly messy house.

And there’s some people who will roll their eyes at the drama of it, and they’ll think “Just clean it up. Take the action, do the things.”These people are also likely to leave nasty comments about how this post is sort of stupid. (I won’t publish them.)

But then there’s other people – maybe you’re one of these people –who know what it’s like tostand in the middle of a messy room and feel absolutely paralyzed by the mess.(Me!! I AM ONE OF THESE PEOPLE!) These people will get what this post is about.

We are the people who wonder desperately “where to start cleaning my house?!”

You might even have a secret fear that your house looks like hoarders (you know, that TV show where food is molding under the couch and the neighbors are complaining?)

And I want to sharesome good solid advice with these people (you), on how to move forward with cleaning when you feel paralyzed by a mess.

Because I’ve been there, but – thank goodness – I’m not there anymore.

Step one in cleaning a terribly messy house sounds overly simple, but please don’t overlook it just because it’s simple:

You pick up one thing.

(Tune out the rest of the mess for now. You’re just dealing with one thing.)

Pick up one thing – the nearest thing to you – and ask yourself, “Where does this thing go?”

Does it have a home in your home? Does it need to LEAVE your home(donation/garbage)?

Then put that thing where it goes. (If it needs to be donated, make a box for donating and call that it’s home for now.)

Andpick up another thing. Find it’s home or give it a home or get it out of your home.

And repeat.

And repeat.

And repeat.

I swear this works. It’s tedious yes. But it’s not overwhelming. It’s one thing at a time… and one thing at a time, you can clean up the mess.

Now, let’s talk about this in detail, but I know the above seems over-simplified.

You’ll need some structure and routine to keep you on track!

IF your mess is as bad as I image it is, picking up one thing at a time and putting it away is actually going to take days (and that is ok), but a PLAN will help you keep moving forward.

Start by printing a simple home cleaning planner – with daily + weekly task lists, spring + fall cleaning checklists, and room by room cleaning checklists to make sure it all gets DONE.

If you regularly lose a weekend to a cleaning ‘blitz’ – that doesn’t actually accomplish anything because you just bounce from room to room – a planner with checklist will help.How to Clean Your House When You Feel Paralyzed by "The Mess" (1)

CLICK HERE TO GET OUR HOME CLEANING PLANNER!

(THIS POST PROBABLY CONTAINS AFFILIATE LINKS. OUR FULL DISCLOSURE POLICY IS REALLY BORING, BUT YOU CAN FIND IT HERE.)

Related:

When you want to clean up “the mess” in your house but don’t know where to start:

With your printed cleaning schedule in hand, you can start to tackle the mess.

You know what I’m talking about when I say “the mess”.

It’s not like you had a clean house 6 hours ago, but a kid’s birthday partyhas turned your home into a danger zone. Little piles of melty ice-cream everywhere and paper cups behind the couch.

No, that kind of mess isn’t THAT hard to clean up. (If you have THAT kind of mess, you really just need this stuff.) Although this advice will apply to how to clean a trashed house as well – any mess, little-people-parties included.

I’m talking about THE MESS. The big bad mess. When you have let the clutter and junk take over. There’s piles of laundry in the living room, you can’t see the kitchen counters, can’t remember the last time you cleaned out the fridge. You may or may not find a bag of potatoes – or what used to be potatoes – sitting at the back of the pantry.

If you take a moment to look around your home you might even feel shame and despair. But you also look around and feel that sinking feeling that says you won’t EVER be able to clean it up, because you just do NOT know where to start.

It’s hopeless.

THAT kind of mess.

This is the sort of paralyzing mess that for some reason, wants me to live in it. (I don’t. I work very hard to not allow my home to be messy. I am not a naturally tidy person, which is baffling because I LOVE it when my home is tidy, and I grew up in a tidy home. I don’t know where I developed the messy habits.)

I have learned that it is far easier to KEEP my home clean than to have to try cleaning a messy house once it gets to the paralyzing mess stage.

But, if you are still there, paralyzed in your mess… well, I get it andI have the path to the light at the end of the tunnel for you.

Related: How to Conquer Clutter When it’s Emotionally DifficultRelated: Tackling Clothing Clutter: Confessions of a Clothes Hoarder

First, two things to consider (to start cleaning a messy house):

If you are so overwhelmed that you don’t believe it’s possible to clean your house,you might need to ask for help and that’s ok, but then be willing to let the helper help.It’s really frustrating to have someone ask you to help them and then not be allowed to do anything. If you feel like you need to be in control, that’s something you’ll have to address.

The odd time when my home DOES return to this state of overwhelming mess (like- um – if I have a baby and forget how to do “life”) I ask for help when I need it.

Also, consider addressing the clutter and disorganization in your home – FOR GOOD. Sometimes just cleaning up isn’t enough.

Addressing the clutter in my home took me a LONG way towards never feeling paralyzed by the mess anymore. But I didn’t know where to start, and I actually needed someone to TEACH me how to do it.

If your house is constantly buried in clutter and mess, check out The Organized Home Course by Hilary from Pulling Curls.It is created just for people like us, who need to be given bite-sized tips & lessons on organization so we know where stuff is, save time & feel more peace at home. (Because we do ACTUALLY deserve to feel at peace in our homes!)

This is the perfect course for organizing a messy home if:

  • You always need hours of notice before having guests because you’re embarrassed about the state of your home.
  • You’re always worried you misplaced an important document or won’t be able to find things when you need them.
  • You’ve ever wondered why can’t YOU enjoy peaceful time on the couch or enjoying your family instead of always stressing out about the state of your home?

If you need someone to TEACH you how to address clutter and get organized, Hilary is your girl, and you can get 10% off the course here with the code MOP10.

But even if you choose not to ask for help or deal with the clutter, you can clean up the mess.

Remember:

You pick up one thing. The nearest thing to you – and ask yourself, “Where does this thing go?”

Does it have a home in your home? Does it need to LEAVE your home(donation/garbage)?

Then put that thing where it goes. (If it needs to be donated, make a box for donating and call that it’s home for now.)

Andpick up another thing. Find it’s home or give it a home or get it out of your home.

And repeat.

And repeat.

And repeat.

I swear this works. It’s tedious yes. But it’s not overwhelming. It’s one thing at a time… and one thing at a time, you can clean up the mess.

Work through one room per day (or half a room per day) according to the cleaning schedule you made.

Once your house is tidy, these 6 daily habits for a clean home will help you KEEP it that way.

Related: Secrets for Keeping the House Clean With Small Kids

Related:

If you try to do this but get distracted or stuck or struggle with how to motivate yourself to clean a messy house:

Here’s where asking for help can be awesome – because there is an automatic built in job for the helper. (Plus having someone else involved can be really good cleaning motivation!)

Have someone (a patient someone) hand you one thing at a time and ask “where does this go?”

And repeat.

Having someone else there to keep you on track might be the only way to keep yourself going the first time you do this.

But you CAN do this 🙂

Once things are put properly in their homes (or out of your home) tackle the “dirt” – which you will inevitably find under “the mess” – with the most natural, safe, and cost effective household cleaners youcan find. (For me that’s been Norwex – this one tub of cleaner has lasted me for THREE YEARS and I have no qualms about getting it on my skin. They even have a system for washing windows and mirrors with ONLY water!)

More From Mommy on Purpose:

Where do you start when you’re drowning in CLUTTER?Clean kitchen habits you can adopt today

How to Clean Your House When You Feel Paralyzed by "The Mess" (3)

How to Clean Your House When You Feel Paralyzed by "The Mess" (4)

How to Clean Your House When You Feel Paralyzed by "The Mess" (5)

How to Clean Your House When You Feel Paralyzed by "The Mess" (6)

How to Clean Your House When You Feel Paralyzed by "The Mess" (2024)

FAQs

How to Clean Your House When You Feel Paralyzed by "The Mess"? ›

The messy house syndrome (Diogenes syndrome) is present when, owing to a disordering of the personality structure, a person is unable to keep order, for example, in the household or his finances. Such persons are also referred to as "messies".

How to clean when the mess is overwhelming? ›

Tips For Cleaning When You Feel Overwhelmed
  1. Don't Sit Down. ...
  2. Have the Right Tools for the Task on Hand. ...
  3. Race the Clock Cleaning. ...
  4. Choose Somewhere to Start. ...
  5. Figure Out Your Priorities & Make a List. ...
  6. Create a Cleaning Playlist.

How to clean a neglected house? ›

How do you clean a house that hasn't been lived in for years?
  1. Make a detailed plan.
  2. Throw away all of the unwanted items.
  3. Inspect plumbing and electricity.
  4. Deep clean the entire property.
  5. Renovate, restore and repair.
May 4, 2022

How to do housework when overwhelmed? ›

How to clean when feeling overwhelmed – 11 ways to spruce up your space without the stress
  1. Start small.
  2. Find your ideal work hour.
  3. Stick to a schedule.
  4. Try habit stacking.
  5. Break tasks down into smaller, sustainable tasks.
  6. Fake it till you make it.
  7. Be realistic about your goals.
  8. Try the 20-10 routine.
Aug 20, 2023

What is messy house syndrome? ›

The messy house syndrome (Diogenes syndrome) is present when, owing to a disordering of the personality structure, a person is unable to keep order, for example, in the household or his finances. Such persons are also referred to as "messies".

Why do people with ADHD struggle with clutter? ›

If you or a loved one has ADHD, managing things and stuff can be overwhelming. Cindy Glovinsky, psychologist and author, explains that clutter is caused by impulsive actions that don't do a good job of compensating for a better solution.

What is the correct order to clean a house? ›

General Checklist for Cleaning the House
  1. Declutter. Clearing out clutter means you'll have less to manage and clean. ...
  2. Dust and Damp-Wipe. Start high and move your way down. ...
  3. Vacuum. ...
  4. Sweep and Mop. ...
  5. Tidying up the Kitchen. ...
  6. Make Your Bathroom Shine. ...
  7. Refresh the Bedroom. ...
  8. Living Room Cleaning.

Where do I start when cleaning an extremely messy room? ›

Create piles of similar items that belong in the room but aren't put away. As you work through the clutter, make small groups of items that need to be put away. Groups such as shoes, clean clothes, books, toys, paperwork, and electronics work well.

What is the most neglected part of a house? ›

Top 9 Neglected Areas in the House That You Should Clean
  1. Windows and Screens. Unfortunately, most people overlook the windows when it comes to cleaning a house. ...
  2. Window Blinds. ...
  3. Refrigerator. ...
  4. Shower Door. ...
  5. Areas Under Heavy Furniture and Appliances. ...
  6. Kitchen Cabinets. ...
  7. Your Mattress. ...
  8. Baseboards.

What is it called when someone doesn't clean their house? ›

Those with messy house syndrome might be called “messies” or “hoarders.” They struggle to clean up or declutter their home due to underlying physical or mental health issues. Messy house syndrome presents in older adults, usually 60 and over.

How to clean an extremely messy house? ›

7 Tips on Organizing a Messy House
  1. Start Small. If you start to think about organizing every room, closet, and cupboard in your home, it's likely to feel overwhelming. ...
  2. Go Through Everything. ...
  3. Toss It in the Trash. ...
  4. Donate. ...
  5. Invest in Good Storage Solutions. ...
  6. Find a Place For Everything. ...
  7. Stay Consistent.
Apr 29, 2021

Where do I start cleaning when overwhelmed by clutter and mess? ›

Choose Somewhere to Start
  1. The floor - Sit and tidy or sort piles of mail or books, grab a broom and sweep up crumbs, or vacuum the living room rug. ...
  2. The kitchen sink - Wash any dishes in the sink or load the dishwasher, then give the sink itself a good scrub. ...
  3. The laundry hamper - Start by throwing in a load of laundry.

How do you deep clean a house when overwhelmed? ›

Where to Begin When You're Overwhelmed by Clutter and Mess:
  1. Take care of time-sensitive issues. Check for any appointments or activities you may have forgotten. ...
  2. Focus on food and clothes first. ...
  3. Make a simple morning routine. ...
  4. Make a simple afternoon and evening routine. ...
  5. Choose one special task to do each day.

How do you deal with overwhelming clutter? ›

Clutter Control: A Little at a Time

The key is to start small: Tackle one room or even one bookshelf at a time. Cleaning the clutter from drawers? "Don't dump the whole drawer," says Gilberg, "it's too overwhelming." Instead, take out items that can be thrown away, then things you can donate.

How do you clean severe clutter? ›

10 Creative Decluttering Tips
  1. Start with 5 minutes at a time. ...
  2. Give one item away each day. ...
  3. Fill an entire trash bag. ...
  4. Donate clothes you never wear. ...
  5. Create a decluttering checklist. ...
  6. Take the 12-12-12 challenge. ...
  7. View your home as a first-time visitor. ...
  8. Take before and after photos of a small area.

How do you clean your room fast when it's really messy? ›

How to Clean a Bedroom in 15 Minutes
  1. Put Dirty Clothing in a Hamper. Grab all of the dirty clothes and place them in the hamper. ...
  2. Collect Clean Clothes and Refold or Re-Hang. ...
  3. Throw Out Any Trash. ...
  4. Make the Bed. ...
  5. Pick Up Misplaced Items. ...
  6. Straighten Surfaces. ...
  7. Mop, Sweep, or Vacuum. ...
  8. Put Away Your Supplies.
Jan 16, 2024

Why do I get overwhelmed when things are messy? ›

But research shows disorganization and clutter have a cumulative effect on our brains. Our brains like order, and constant visual reminders of disorganisation drain our cognitive resources, reducing our ability to focus. The visual distraction of clutter increases cognitive overload and can reduce our working memory.

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